I tried to sell a men’s jacket on Facebook Marketplace. Here’s what happened next.
My husband and I have been spring cleaning, trying to de-clutter. It is such a great feeling taking clothes out of closets and packing them into bags for the op shop. What isn’t such a great feeling, is trying to sell them on Facebook Marketplace.
It started innocently enough – I was already listing a bundle of cloth nappies, and my husband asked if I had a Facebook Marketplace “account” so I said yes sure, I can list this Icebreaker jacket that looks in excellent condition. It’s green, warm, and reversible. He decided we’d get $50 for it. That’s probably enough to buy 3 croissants, a coffee and 2 fluffies at a central Wellington café, on our school holiday fund.
First up, I had a couple of people asking
“Is this a men’s or women’s jacket?”
Despite me listing it in the men’s jacket category.
Then a promising contender – Babu (not his real name?) who has a courier pick-up coupon so can arrange delivery of a courier to pick up the jacket. I had listed pick-up only. This smelled like a scam.
Next up I had an actual real-life buyer, who decided the jacket was going to fit him even though he was a Medium-Large size (Jacket is Medium). This one came to our house, paid in cash, but then… 2 hours later, “I see there is a stain on the jacket pocket…” After a flurry of messages about how he was going to get the stain out, I suggested he bring the jacket back and I’d return his $50. Fair enough, we hadn’t noticed the stained pocket. We arranged to meet a couple of mornings later, and instead of doing the normal thing and knocking on the door, he decided to message me and get me to come out to his car…. WHY? I still don’t know.
My kids were dying for a fluffy and I still didn’t have the $50.
I re-listed the jacket and mentioned the stains. It’s fair, people need to know about stains.
Robert*: “I will let you know if I want it”.
[silence]
Gary: “Oh, it has a stain. Might give it a miss.”
And finally, a contender:
James: “Can I pick it up this evening? Is $40 OK?”
At this point, I was willing to give it away for free. Gave him the address, then an hour later received a buyer’s remorse message along the lines of:
“My partner’s just convinced me I don’t need any more jackets.”
Dude, I also convinced my husband he doesn’t need or want any more jackets, that’s why we were spring cleaning and selling this thing. And now you have my address.
At this point, I spontaneously combusted and burned a hole in the jacket in the process.
At least I can’t sell it anymore.
*names have been changed
Thanks to my favourite Substack writer, Emily Writes Weekly, for inspiring me to write this. Read more about the horrors of Facebook Marketplace in her newsletter:
